26 years and 11 days ago...an ANGEL was born...

Me.



Ha. No, but seriously, I was born then.


September 16th y'all. Mark it in your calendars....


Ok. I know your SO OVER my silly face pictures. And if I was cool, I'd be all "me too! who does those anymore?!" But guys, I am not cool. I'm Mayor of Nerdville and Gov'ner of Uh Oh, Your A Nerd. (Hi, watch Harry Potter nearly every night, remember??? Point proven) And plus, it was MY birthday, so you have to suffer through whatever I want you to....so yeah.


We even went to Pirate Island in Provo. NO, I will not shut up. You shut up. We really went there! My dad took us all there for mine and Kevin's birthdays. His is tomorrow - a post on him later - be excited. Anyways, I actually requested this place. And Kevin was all - why couldn't I have married someone normal? And I was all babe, normal is nowhere in your future - get used to it.



It was an hour and a half wait. Seriously. So we got bored and to entertain the kids we started making crazy face pictures (always a hit). Then it just rolled over and I made everyone who was there waiting (minus Heather & Dan & Co. - they were smart and went and ran errands) make crazy face pictures with me. And they couldn't even complain! Birthday privileges....

Here is the aftermath.....apparently you should never leave me bored with a camera.



Me and the sis, Ivy.
Since Heather wasn't there, I included this random, sorta silly face pic of her. I wouldn't want her to feel left out now would I?

I know she isn't doing a silly face, but she is just so cute....

Me and the Gramps. He's 82 years people. He even competes in the senior Olympics. He's a runner. And a stunner. AND he entered a sculpture he did back in college into the state fair this year and won first place! Love this man.

We don't take our silly faces lightly, Steve and I. As is demonstrated here.... (could we look ANY uglier???)

And here....


And here....(why I would subject you to this picture of me I don't know. But please excuse my chins....so RUDE of them to intrude on this otherwise awesome picture....if you don't give them any attention, they'll usually give up and go home.)

The Granny. Is she not the DANG CUTEST THING???

I'm scared of MYSELF in this picture.

Shelene, me, and the Daddy-O.

My other brother Austin

When my mom took me out to lunch and shopping the next day, I made her participate as well. Again, I wouldn't want anyone to feel left out. (and just to clear it up, her face and neck were not 2 different colors in real life - we were laughing about this forever)

Isn't she a sassy pants? I had to put a reg. picture of her in here just so you could see her cute self.

Well, there you have it. My birthday - one ugly face at a time. I'm sorry, but this was the best I could muster!! Forgive me! Blogging and I are not friends right now.

And I'm starting to see I only have about 3 faces. I need to mix things up in the future, no? You're hoping your future doesn't include my crazy face pics aren't you? Well, ok, that's fair. But I can't promise anything....

Tori Spelling is my HOMEGIRL

Oh yes, you heard right.

Believe it. Embrace it. LOVE it. Make out with it even.

Cuz I don't care what you say, girlfriend is HILARIOUS. Her whole family is. I know because I watch THIS show.





Now.

I know it's a good possibility some (all) of you just threw up in your mouths a little. Maybe even had a little dry heave action? But I'm telling you, this show will change your mind (life). I have tried to convince many, but people really hate her don't they? I mean, HATE her. I even tried to get my sister in law Beth to watch it, and she was all, uh - new thanks. Tori = vomit. And you know, I was there once too. But you guys - you just gotta get to KNOW her, you know, like I do.

She even does bagel boobs, and I don't care who you are, that's good TV.

My friends Talisia and Kelly even love it. And if the GRAND POOBA loves it, well then.....there you have it. Talisia and I have decided that if she were an animal, it would be a cow. Not Kelly, but Tori. You know how everyone looks like an animal? Tell me she isn't a COW?


Are we right, or are we right???

SIDE NOTE: I once told someone they looked like a bear. And it was a girl. And it didn't go over well. Word to the wise - keep animal look alike comments to yourself.



Just look at this cute family. Seriously, rent the first season and push through the short haired pigtails. If you can get over the pigtails (and you can) you will love it. Dean is hilarious. And they are the cutest dang parents ever. She has such a sweet little paranoid heart, she cries at everything, and he does movies like Santa Baby 2. You CANNOT go wrong. She also has 2 books (thumbs up), a baby clothing line (eh), and a jewelry line (which actually ROCKS). (I like parentheses)

Also, Liam has a rat tail. I need to warn you of this. So I guess put aside ALL hair mishaps, and then all will be well.

Hope you enjoy.


P.S. Posts like these are what happens if you all (my sister) want updates more often. Don't say I didn't warn you.....

the CHOPPING block...

Yep. It's happening. I'm officially CHOPPING my hair off.




No. Don't argue with me. What's done is done peeps. Because THIS here picture, might as well be me. And I think we can all agree....


...that it is NEVER okay to have your hair double as a blanket. It's pretty much illegal.


Unless of course you're Nicole Richie, then you might actually need a 24/7 blanket. I'm only KIDDING. You know she doesn't look like that any more....shame on you. I actually quite like me some Miss Richie. In truth, I may or may not have a hair crush on her.

Seriously, her hair is my boyfriend. (not to be confused with my other boyfriend, Walmart. But only the one on 114th South. I don't get around or anything)

And I might as well marry this hairdo - I love it that much.

Also, I might have a style crush on her..... No, I do. I'll just say it.

But this post isn't about Nicole Richie. It's about me WHACKING my hair off. TODAY. I'm thinking something like this?

Or this? Er, wait. No. I'd be straight up HID.

Get yerself ready folks, there's no going back. Except that there is. With extensions. And the fact that I'm not chopping it off. I'm only cutting about 4 or so inches. And sadly, that still leaves me with an insane amount of hair. Husband thinks he's 'forbid' me to cut my hair, isn't that cute? I'm pretty sure I traumatized him right after we got married and I cut my hair to a short asymmetrical do. He of course SAID he liked it. But really, to see his reaction when I say I'm cutting my hair, leads me to believe he may not have been a fan. I think he's worried that this time I'll come home with this.

And she may be one of the very few who could still look GORGEOUS and feminine with no hair. Rude.

Eventually I WILL get rid of it. But by virtually everyone I know, I've been vetoed.

For now.

OCEANside...

So we went to Californ-I-A last week. It seriously rocked my pants off. It was EXACTLY what we needed. A whole week of nothing but doing whatever we wanted, and as little or as much of it as we pleased...Typically every year we go to Newport and stay at a beach house, but this year we got crazy adventurous and went a few miles south to Oceanside.

Once again, get ready for an unnecessary amount of pictures. Infact, it's not just an unnecessary amount, it's a highly inappropriate amount. Like, the kind where you'd rather stab your own eyes out than look at THAT many pictures of someone ELSE'S vacation....By the end of this, I'm positive you'll be asking yourself why. WHY???? And because I'd like to torture you further, I'll tell you about EACH. INDIVIDUAL. picture. It's how I roll.

And so it begins......

This is our (my dad and Shelene's) condo we stayed in. Everyone had their own rooms and bathrooms. It was HEAVENLY. And off to the left was a full kitchen. This place make-a me happy.

Lil' Lady, as Kevin calls her, with my sunglasses on (how do children always end up with my glasses? And more importantly,why do I always take a picture?) Now, I'll have you know, I spent WAAAAAY more than I would normally lay down for a pair of shades. Like, they might as well be Versace or something (that one's for you Al). Are you ready...$24. I know right? Normally my limit is $10 tops, but I went all out for these suckas. I don't know, I was feeling reckless.

Us eating lunch at the cute little Fish 'N Chips place at the Harbor that was right across the street from our condo. Don't ask me what my arm is doing in this picture...

Mmmmm. The plate: Alaskan Cod, Bay Shrimp, Pirate Stew, and fried zucchini. I'm pretty positive this was on my diet. Grease is TOTALLY good for you.

Sis gettin ready for the beach. She calls this her "mommy swimsuit". She's cute like that.

Walkin to the beach. My daddy-O, Ethan, Ivy, and Kevin. We walked from our parking lot under a tunnel of train tracks, through the Harbor, and to the beach. About a 7 minute walk. (just, uh, in case you were curious)

Still walkin to the beach. Dad and Ivy. She was lovin her polka dot shades.

In the harbor, at a restaurant with live music. This guy was so good it was redonkulous. Seriously, I wish I had video.

The Joe's Crab Shack in the harbor. How cool is that, all floaty and whatnot...


The old folk, loungin at the beach. :)

Just in case it wasn't clear, this is Ethan. He's super awesome.

These two are straight up hooligans, just hangin in the shade. And BOY do I love em.


Racin to fill the buckets with water.

Playing in the sand. Ethan is a funny one, he loves to be clean, so he had to have a bucket to wash his hands when they got dirty like this....Ivy on the other hand would literally lay and make sand angels.

Kevin in his beloved Sanuk's. Stylin or not, this man is comfortable peeps. He LOVES these shoes.

How fun is this picture??? Super fun, I say.

Somehow Kevin's shoulders just collect children...it never fails.

Just chillaxin at the pool (pretty sure that's cool people talk) Ethan is Kevin's little shadow, and he was DYING for Kevin to come swim with him, so Kev told him he needed to 'warm his turtle shell' for a minute. Ethan said that constantly from then on "I just need to warm my turtle shell mom". SO cute that kid.

Would you just LOOK at those faces? No seriously, look. I wanna maul them

Ivy just a swimmin away. You have to spend just 5 minutes with this girl to really appreciate her. She is somethin else, people. LOVE her :)

Dad and Ethan shwimmin.

Kevin and Ivy. Seriously, I'm so excited to one day have kids with this dude. I mean really.

Ivy and I. Now enjoy our silly faces. Oh you know, cuz they're fun.

We also went to Sea World - which I love. Dolphins make me want to cry - in a good way. Yep.

As do pilot whales. They are just so friggin CUTE, dang it.

Look at us bein all cute takin a couples picture. And have no doubt, if I knew photoshop, peace out to half my arm... that's right, I said it.

Petting the sting rays. You can actually feed them, but I was all, uh, I only feed things that dont suck your hand off in the process. Kind of a rule of mine.

So I fed HIM instead. And those A hole seagulls took half my lot. Who do they think they are anyway?

So how gnarly is this picture! Isn't that just FREAKY? Sharks....geh. They scare the S outta me, but I can't NOT look.

And I dig this picture more than it probably deserves. I just like it, okay?

Not quite as cool as the other shark picture, but there IS one back there.....

Didn't even mean for this to be in here...AND it won't rotate.

At the Shamu Rocks show. LA-HUV this show. I mean let's talk about it...how do they get them to DO stuff? HOW????

I'm going out on a limb here, but I think Ethan was excited...

I guess not...Kevin had to MAKE him smile.

I'M SORRY. So I like silly faces....

I'm a beaut in this one....

The pier that holds my FAV place to go...Ruby's Diner. It's this cute little 50's diner with the best shakes ever at the end of the pier and you can eat out on the roof too. We watched dolphins play and the sun set. Much love for this place.

Dark pic of me and the kids while waiting to be seated. Everyone comes to fish here and we went around seeing everything people caught. From small sharks to slimy squid. Mmmm, who's hungry?

Kevin and his buddy deciding what to order...I just thought husband looked cute.

At the Oceanside flea market. Kevin is in HEAVEN at these things. LOVES EM. I almost got this hideously awesome ring. Oh you know, the kind that SO ugly it's fabulous. NO? Just me that likes those things??? oh.

Random pic of us at our finest...er.....not.

We were so sad to leave. We kept asking each other, how do we MOVE here? But we say this with every vacation we are on. Kevin especially. I would be happy living in RAIN central, but I'm a weirdy like that. We slept in, we layed by the pool, we swam, ate good food, went deep sea fishing, Sea World, watched movies, went to the beach, caught crabs - I mean WOAH - caught A crab, went shopping...it just doesn't get much better than that.

So I hope you made it through with both eyeballs intact. I'd hate to feel responsible for any self inflicted injury of yours due to my inability to be selective in my photo extravaganzas. But look on the bright side, we are INSANELY beautiful people, so I practically did you a favor...

Oh ho ho, I'm hilarious...

Did somebody say Brian Freidman?

****UPDATE: once upon a time all 3 links worked, but apparently only the 2nd one is still available (for now anyway) A for effort??? :(

Why yes! Yes they did. And here I thought he'd never be back after the fued between him and Tyce Diorio(oh no he didn't) on season ONE of So You Think You Can Dance...

And here we are in season 5.


It shocked my pants off (but made me delighted) when I saw his signature 'DO that could rival Justin Timberlake pre-2004 (and more so Justin Guarini in these pics), was no more.

when all else fails, straighten it?

And while I don't want to marry him like I do Mia Michaels, he DID NOT DISAPPOINT - what with his plunging neckline on his man sweater, that 'Eff It' attitude, and an outfit that I'm pretty sure was inspired by Peter Pan . Oh Brian, we've missed you....

Oh yeah, and his dance KILLED it. (I was gonna be all 'with it' and post the video, but I'm blog stupid and can't quite conquer something so official yet...) so here's the DANCE with my super fancy

LINK.

Oh what? What you want another one??? Okay.....

........... LINK(i LOVE this dance)

That's not enough, you say? Well then here's dessert.

LINKITY LINK LINK.

Yer welcome.

*Nobody even clicked on those did they? Sadders.

Let's hear it for Mickey and stuff...

After you get over the shock of me posting something new - actually taking the time to update this sad little blog, you are gonna wanna hear this.......

Disneyland. That's right. I totally went there. For 3 whole days. And it was Down. Right. Awesome. DRA if you will....

Now prepare yourself for an unnecessary amount of pictures. I think "buttload" is the technical term. (you'll be proud of the amount of pictures that Kevin and I are actually IN)

This is Kevin, me, and Dylan(a neph). Either the sun is really in Kevin's eyes, or Dumbo made him need to poop. Either way, totally understandable.

The Dude givin some love in line for Peter Pan.

Riding in our ship on Peter Pan. Look at my cute bald husband. He's bald. And cute.This is Brock(another neph) in his sweet Mickey ears on his perma-ride called Kevin's Shoulders. He did this probably 90% of the trip.

Dylan being the stud that he is wearing my $3 sunglasses. I warned him, I said "Don't you break those. Thems were made in Korea". He didn't break them.

Me kissing Pluto. He's trying to act like he didn't want this by leaning away. But he did. He SO did. Dyl and Brockie. Look at them, I just want to eat their faces off!

The people who wouldn't let me eat their faces off.

Dylan's turn on Kevin's shoulder's waiting to go on Buzz. My husband is sessy.

Us KILLIN IT on Buzz. Kevin is some kind of ridiculous on this ride. He gets into concentration "Halo" mode or something and goes crazy shooting up everything in sight. His score's were so high I'm almost embarrassed.

This is my little man Kaden, and his hotty pants momma, Lisa.

Dylan and I in the Haunted Mansion trying to portray how scared we were. We were SO SCARED. Obviously.

Kevin likes to get really drunk before hitting up Nemo. So excuse him in this photo, but really, don't you remember the sharks? It's pretty intense. Papa hiding behind Nana, Bethie and Kaden, and Kevin.
Kevin, Dylan (who wanted to take the picture) and me on Nemo.

Beth and Brock on Matterhorn(sp?) Isn't she a hot, sexy, beast??? I'm pretty sure she is. Look at little Brockie's face...he looks really unsure of what he's about to do....

Going up the big hill on Splash Mountain. Ahhh!!!

You can't really tell in this picture, but poor Brock got drenched. Splash Mountain ate us for breakfast.

So the next time we went, Brock demanded cover. He WOULD NOT GO without protection. Lucky for Kevin, Brock served as HIS protection. Winners all around, folks.

Us on our FAVORITE ride in California Adventure, Toy Story 3D. SO MUCH FUN!!!!

Kaden in his super cool 3D shades. Isn't he yummy stuff?

Us on Toy Story, for our 3rd time, I think. Brock kicked my trash....oh who are we kidding, I TOTALLY schooled him.

This is me being a serious nerd in our hotel room. I only post this picture for proof that I really do do my hair at LEAST once a month. It happens folks, not very often, but it DOES happen.

We found Buzz slacking off on his duties while playing Dance Dance Revolution with a Chinese kid (who else?) with MAD skills.

Dylan giving me his best Pirate ARGH!

And last but not least, us with THE MOUSE HIMSELF, Mickey.

Highlights of the trip:

-Kevin deciding he wanted to be known by ONE name, like Prince or Madonna, or KFed. He settled on Chancho(???), but Kevonce' came in close second.

-Joleen putting up a good fight with a toilet seat cover.

-Dylan braving it on Tower of Terror and Indiana Jones.

-Brock finally being tall enough to brave it on everything!

-"Hot water" at Cheesecake Factory

-Windex guacamole

-Pirates of the Caribbean being open the last 2 days!

-a really yummy Chimichanga while in line for Small World

-the midget that stalked Kevin

-having the handicap bathroom in our hotel room. Kevin was excited about the possibility of showering and pooping at the same time. Luckily, that never happened. And on that note....

THE END

MY COLLARBONE

is missing. I KNOW. And it has been for a minute or 3 years. See, one day it was there, and the next thing I know, BOOM. It's gone. I can't help but think that this might have been a smidge my fault. I know what you're thinking: "no Andrea there is no way this could be of any wrong doing on your part"...but I did, I did put distance between us. I was pushing it away and not spending quality time with it and all, and before I knew it, it disappeared. And in good runaway fashion, it took friends. Hip Bones, Knee Caps, Ankles, and Jaw Line decided to pack up and leave too. They are ALL missing. Bastards. They didn't even say goodbye. And I was all, whatever Knee Caps, who needs you anyway. But then I realized: I do. I need you Knees and Knees was all, sorry lady, it's too little too late.

But don't panic, I have a plan. I'm gonna fix it. I am fixing it. Some of you may be asking yourself how you lose track of such important and obvious things as these? And my answer is to you is, I DON'T KNOW PEOPLE. GET OFF MY BACK. I mean I do. Well....I'm not gonna go into any details here, but it might have something to do with a devilish little red-headed girl in pigtails that answers to the name "Wendy" offering delicacies such as honey mustard, chicken nuggets, and spicy chicken sandwiches.

She's such a beast.

Also my crazy schedule, constant tiredness, and lack of skills in the kitchen might have played a part. But that's beside the point. I SAID I'M FIXING IT. Moving right along...

I will put you at ease here and let you know that there have been some tips given to me of their whereabouts, and I SWEAR I even spotted them once or twice (really I did). Pretty soon here we'll be having mediated visits and I think they will be back before I know it. And they will be welcomed home like the prodigal son. Plus, I think Hip Bones might be hiding out at Dell's house cuz she's all "helpful" like that, and lets face it, girlfriend's got enough hip bones for the both of us. Not cool Dell. Not cool.

I NEED THOSE.

So. If you happen to run into any of my runaways, would you please let them know I'm looking REALLY HARD for them, I miss them, and I swear to do right by them this time around? Thanks so much.