MY COLLARBONE

is missing. I KNOW. And it has been for a minute or 3 years. See, one day it was there, and the next thing I know, BOOM. It's gone. I can't help but think that this might have been a smidge my fault. I know what you're thinking: "no Andrea there is no way this could be of any wrong doing on your part"...but I did, I did put distance between us. I was pushing it away and not spending quality time with it and all, and before I knew it, it disappeared. And in good runaway fashion, it took friends. Hip Bones, Knee Caps, Ankles, and Jaw Line decided to pack up and leave too. They are ALL missing. Bastards. They didn't even say goodbye. And I was all, whatever Knee Caps, who needs you anyway. But then I realized: I do. I need you Knees and Knees was all, sorry lady, it's too little too late.

But don't panic, I have a plan. I'm gonna fix it. I am fixing it. Some of you may be asking yourself how you lose track of such important and obvious things as these? And my answer is to you is, I DON'T KNOW PEOPLE. GET OFF MY BACK. I mean I do. Well....I'm not gonna go into any details here, but it might have something to do with a devilish little red-headed girl in pigtails that answers to the name "Wendy" offering delicacies such as honey mustard, chicken nuggets, and spicy chicken sandwiches.

She's such a beast.

Also my crazy schedule, constant tiredness, and lack of skills in the kitchen might have played a part. But that's beside the point. I SAID I'M FIXING IT. Moving right along...

I will put you at ease here and let you know that there have been some tips given to me of their whereabouts, and I SWEAR I even spotted them once or twice (really I did). Pretty soon here we'll be having mediated visits and I think they will be back before I know it. And they will be welcomed home like the prodigal son. Plus, I think Hip Bones might be hiding out at Dell's house cuz she's all "helpful" like that, and lets face it, girlfriend's got enough hip bones for the both of us. Not cool Dell. Not cool.

I NEED THOSE.

So. If you happen to run into any of my runaways, would you please let them know I'm looking REALLY HARD for them, I miss them, and I swear to do right by them this time around? Thanks so much.